"Anomalous Asomatous"

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**A letter to self**

**

originally posted 12-6-09
Images of The museum of Glass
By my father with edits by me





























Dear T,



When the night becomes the curtain of self, we become lost in loss,
settled in a cocoon, hidden from day and night.

We wanted the help, the aid of love, and the hand of the Friend, even giving ourselves to another, sharing
the conflicts of our minds only to be brought back to where we were before. We are waiting for that next
chance to truly breathe but we can only catch our breath, when the work is done.

The way we view the one closest to us is how we feel about ourselves and that can both distract us
or poison others. Search only for positive kindness... or you will fall and have to start over....

Yes, you can go back a little.

You need to rediscover all you thought you were and become all that you know you are. Heal and
embrace where you have been! And get over it! You just need to make an entrance, commit and
face it ~~ fully in this day.





















































You saw how you wished the world would be; loving, caring, compassionate family,
forgiving and understanding friends. And yes that can be yours again. But for now forgive
others and understand you.

You have to forgive your self to really embrace fear, doubt and the unknown in others.

You must risk your all now. You have a lot of love to give and many things that will help rejuvenate
someone’s life. Until then you must do this from the inside.. Go there, and tell me what you find.



Love,
T

**
**You and I**
**

1-10-11

You seek a remedy? You are seeking a source? You seek the truth but you always seem to need more proof. Always searching for perfection in everything. When you already have everything. You could be given nothing better than what is right in front of you. The valley of search is where you dwell. You learned how to cope, you learned how to meet others that went through similar things. But this did not bring you peace fully until you work on those things and parts of you that went unnoticed in the eyes of your companions. Because they are no longer here for you. You are here for yourself and what matters are the changes you are making.

I have seen a strange weakness in women close to me. Confused by this I think to myself, 'don't women want to overcome all the constraints that have been put on them?' Do they not want to live as equals to men? This is what I long to see. Not the dolled up, pretty in pink, make-up body driven empty beauty. Its not a beauty I seek. Its so fake to me. I am looking for the same strength in myself in a woman. I want to go with them on their journey toward inner unity because I am on the same page as them, equal. When will they see this, feel this, hear this,
and know this ............. ?

I am a man you are a woman, so what, we only have different roles but we have the same depths of spirit.















Remaining shots by me

**
**Begin the Path of Reconnection**
**

Late, 10-10-10


...Staying up late into the night.

Viewing all those pictures taking you into the light.

Into the beauty, escaping to the trees and mountains.

All to see? Seeing into self.. God?


But always asking questions that our inner self already has answered.


But we keep writing and searching..


It seems to start and end with a question.


The search always feels incomplete.. love always seems incomplete.. but it is only

sought after as a way to carry us forward when love from Source is not felt.


But it is how you choose to feel and what you take in.


What I seem to take in is that we are trying to see it in ourselves first.

We do not truly have that self love that is spoken of so often.


We say we have it, we know it, and we think we understand it because
we are doing so much.

Thinking we are working so much...


But nothing is really clear.



And we still question..

Where is this love?



We don't feel it yet... we still don't have anything solid with anyone.

Not with ourselves... we don't. you don't. Admit it. See yourself.

If you can't be real with yourself you cant be real with anyone.


Start your new path outward, helping others, instead of going inward,
try going out and then you can go back in more freely.

Next process what you are feeling within, instead of looking for someone
else to feel with, to think for and care for.

We have to find the strength now to search for the way.. not staying home another day..
not writing another paragraph not staying up another night.



Now go back a little.. you are up late again.. searching for too much,
leaving your mind hungry for variety.

You are asking the same old questions..
Why now? And many other nights.. what now?

**
**Affirming Faith In Mind**
**

The Great Way is not difficult
for those not attached to preference.
When neither love nor hate arises,
all is clear and undisguised.

Separate by the smallest amount, however,
you are as close to it as heaven is to earth.

If you wish to know the truth,
then hold no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike
is a disease of the mind.

When the fundamental nature of things is not recognized
the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.






The great Way is perfect and vast as space,
where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess.

Indeed, it is due to our dissecting and rejecting
that (we do not see into peoples hearts)
we do not know the true nature of things.


Do not give into the entanglements of outer things,
nor in ideas or feelings of emptiness.
Be serene and look to the nature of things
and erroneous views will disappear by themselves.

When you try to stop activity to achieve solitude
the very effort fills you with activity.

(So remain active but in balence with
perception and discernment)

Because if you remain attached to one extreme or
another you will never know oneness.

Those who do not live a time in the Single Way
cannot discern assertion from denial.

Deny the reality of things
and you miss reality;

The more you talk and think about it
the further you wander from the truth.
So cease attachment to dialogue and thinking,
and there is nothing you will not be able to know.

To return to the root (ground, being grounded) is to
find the essence, but to pursue appearances or "enlightenment"
is to miss the Source.

Changes that seem to occur in the empty world (idle life)
we make real only in our mind.

When no discriminating attachment arises,
the old mind ceases to exist.

The arising of other gives rise to self;
giving rise to self generates others.

In this Emptiness, these two are really one.

If not comparing, nor attached to "refined" and
"vulgar"you will not fall into judgment and opinion.

The Great Way is embracing and spacious,
to live in it is neither easy nor difficult.

The faster they hurry, the slower they go.







If you wish to move in the One Way,
do not dislike the worlds of senses and ideas.
Indeed, embrace them fully.

Rest and unrest derive from illusion; with enlightenment,
attachment to liking and disliking ceases.
All dualities come from ignorant inference.


When all things are seen without discriminating,
the One Self-essence is everywhere revealed.


For the Realized mind at one with the Way
all self-centered striving ceases.

Doubts and irresolution's vanish
and the Truth is confirmed in you.



~ Seng Tsan 606 C.E.