Week 3 Purification: "The Valley of Knowledge"

(originally posted 4-17-10)

~:~In the ocean he finds a drop, in a drop he beholds the secrets of the sea~:~

Everyday we continue to emerge.There are no costumes for this next scene. I am going back, keeping my roots, but also clearing the way for the fruits of my own understanding to come in, relying on no one.

~:~Things I have learned over the years~:~




Most I am told can not make the sacrifice to let go of the pain because all they ended up teaching themselves is how to feel safe around it. Free yourself of the walls that fool you into thinking you are doing great all alone, when its the creating with others that yields the most satisfying results.



What I am told is when you build your life you stop thinking about negatives. Since the building is always a progressive experience, even when making mistakes, you are still building. That is why I never freak out, always stay level headed, because i know that i am making progress regardless.

~:~Things that went unsaid~:~



We have seen each other at our lowest depths. For me, I always thought that this is where love is exposed the most.. maybe I am wrong. I have a lot of faith I guess.


The greatest job especially for a parent is to be a teacher to the child. To be an example of how to be in charge of your emotional states so that the child develops the confidence of how to manage themselves with people and the work world.


We do not get all of these important lessons from our parents. I was fortunate to have what I could grasp of this, as my Dad always said to listen to your body, listen to how you feel.

~:~What I have learned recently~:~




Isolation causes us to feel negative and depressed because we do not see any ‘good’ come from it. If we isolate ourselves from the active life outside, we cannot see the answers simplified by just giving our minds something else to do. I film a positive message that involves getting out, inspiring, giving, empowering. These are my answers.


Lots of wisdom builds up in periods of isolation. But if you do not break the cycle and do something with all the knowledge gained, you go nowhere with it. We will remember that time where we thought we needed to be alone, go through journals, see what we learned but have no way to apply it. I try everything as a way to apply; writing, collaborating with other people, and with people that may have been a challenge to work with. Why not? Don’t give up on the many gifts that our given to us. Trust in yourself will in turn provide trust in others.

~:~This week’s epiphany~:~




What many give for love can be great. A great lesson is to see past the imperfections we have for the potential we have. I believe that God gives us people, imperfect people to show us our own imperfections. To show us that we are all guides, and God is in all of us. And the secret is, that God is perfect. So there is in fact, perfection in all of us. Therefore there is no real need to stress our efforts to be perfect or look for things to be perfect, when we already contain the greatest perfection. And it is always there with us.

~:~What I am learning now~:~




As of now I have been able to enjoy getting to know new people, and soon will get to know new co-workers. Love that mental training..! and you take it home and have new thoughts mixed in with old. It refreshes the brain to have new nourishment. It amazes me that so many put up with the same thin gs everyday out of habit, fear, or just the choice they make to keep things simple. I’ve done that and it in fact makes it more difficult to be around others.


I am trying hard to get where people go in all their own self-imposed confusion. I have been trying hard to get it, but the question is, are you? I am not one to repeat cycles. Today I looked back, to where I was a year ago, last April, with my habits, what I did with my time, and how I have changed.


I highly recommend stopping everything you are doing and do this.


I realized that we can be hard on ourselves, but I also realized that we don’t really benefit from this unless we are ‘really’ hard on ourselves to a point where we actually change. I’m being hard on myself now by taking good care of my body and mind. Working out, getting out regularly, and taking an account for everything I do and say at the end of the day.

This is what I’m doing. After the cleanse I moved and came here to purify the heart and prepare myself for a whole sense of unity within and all around.


It cannot happen until you are ready. It comes when you know you have worked a lot or you have reached your lowest of lows. And you then find yourself just wanting to go with the flow, enjoy and experience things. Things you may have not had the type of life to see and feel when you were young. It’s a healthy way to purify your senses, and sensitivities as long as it does not cause neglect from responsibilities. And stay away from doubt, and substances, this only causes familiar patterns to arise, throwing you back into the muther fuckin rabbit hole. (I do that sometimes to see if anyone’s listening ha) Really though, retreating back to old habits only hinders the progress already made.

You have already worked on detachment, and are ready to take it to the next level of growth. Routines are starting to come into place, the season is changing, and you will be ready to make true peace with yourself. Unity is reborn.


This is the now state. And the way has been paved as I live in the now and enjoy the present experiences with a detached mind and pure intention.


We want things to flow, but it will never be just right. No one will ever live up to expectations. Because the only expectations we can have are expectations for ourselves. Once things start to 'flow' internally then we may see some sense of rhythm. And you will find yourself dancing to this believe me, and when you feel it in your soul, in you, then people, the places you have to be, will all flow naturally. I am seeing that right now, starting to take effect.


But you have to go through this stage of purification, to see what you have cleansed yourself of, to see what it meant to go through your struggles, to make peace with yourself and to take an account for what you have done. And then you will see the internal flow begin. And true harmony occurs with everything around you.



































































































































































Now Playing ~ Moby
“God moving Over the Face of the Waters”
“When It’s cold I’d Like To Die”
Related ~ Week 1 Purification

Week 2 Purification: "Isolation"

(originally posted 4-6-10)

..and U will dream of life,
of all that is Beautiful.
Of the Night, of the Day,
Of Joy, of Peace, of Light,
Of Love, U will Dream the
Eternal Dream. ~ Distantrealm

New home, Denver, CO

Busy finding work and now living with three wonderful roommates in Capital Hill, near downtown and the mind is finding its self again. Listening to the silence, and gearing up for an intense couple of months. Biking.. and Going Deep.

Most of my life i have been trying to explain myself, almost like justifying. Its been a problem with trying to keep up with the others when feeling like you're falling behind. Behind moving through school, behind moving through college. I was never apart of these key features in ones development. It has always made me feel stunted. But i have made up for it with self awareness and a long pursuit of self knowledge.

Feeling a sense of inadequacy has been what fuels the expression for life. And in this way i have stayed one step ahead. I was given a freedom that others have not had, I trained myself, got great people jobs, never borrowed money from family, never been in debt, used credit cards, or lived pay check to pay check, and have always had savings. I always craved acceptance though or just to be understood. Teachers never did growing up, they never listened. This causes a lot of anxiety and anger as a child for many. This is why you see kids acting out and being crazy/loud. It is not that someone is doing something to them, actually it is because they are frustrated with -themselves.- They want to see as everyone else does. But the amount of things being transmitted to the brain is so overwhelming, that again, it causes tantrums and intensity, (see video below) all of which we suffer from. It strikes us when we aren't given the chance, or, another chance.

I pay such close attention now to children more than anyone. Asking them what they are feeling, how they are feeling it, and what they are wanting out of their feelings. How do they want to process them. Because i believe that ADD/ADHD are people with intense feeling. And too many go with feelings that are not nurtured when they are young. Therefore it has always been my quest to help and nurture others. A natural outcome.

So I always saw this as the cause for my sense of urgency with things like explaining myself. Just like anyone else deserves the right, to have a right, a say, i find now however, with this surge of contentment after moving, that i don't need to say anything. I don't need to explain why, don't need to say what i am going to do next, I've done enough, put myself through my own school of life with love and people as my teachers. All in my hopes to realize a souls dream. And the dream of another, with me. I have been given such great bounties since first getting here, it fills me with a sense of accomplishment. A tremendous feeling of independence from all else and all things. (I literally have just master bedroom in a house with nothing in it but a blanket on the hardwood floor, where i sleep, a tea set, a tripod and suitcase. ha)

(turn volume way up and
pause music before playing)

Related ~ "Journey in the Highest Realm""Week 1 Purification"

"The Inner Child"

Now playing ~

Track 1 - Aphex Twin
2 - Depeche Mode
3 - Aphex Twin

Week 1 Purification: "Naw-rúz"

(originally posted 3-25-10)

Have no fear, and in time
you will happen ~ you will emerge.

You have to become a nobody. The moment you are nobody, a silence descends on you, followed by a contentment. It is not contentment with the world; it is contentment with existence, with the stars, with the roses, with the ocean, with the rocks, with the mountains. It is not contentment with being a president of a country or a prime minister; it is not contentment with being the richest man in the world. It has nothing to do with your so-called world of ambitions. It is a very non-ambitious state. You are utterly empty, even empty of yourself. Only in that emptiness, contentment blossoms, flowers -but that contentment is divine. ~ OSHO

"The Solution,
Identify me."
~ distantrealm








Communication is so rare, true communing.. It seems to only exist between lovers in old movies.

Someday we have to explain how we love, how 'you' love. We say love in all things.. to love even the darkest parts of each other. But it ends up being only one of us really doing this, even today still I'm guilty of being too nice. Giving too much, without result. But out of compassion it makes it worth it in the moment.

i know its not hard to give, even when feeling the emptiness of another. But when you hold on to darkness you don't grow. I choose growth and not give up on myself or others.

one of my best friends Lucinda, spending time together before i left

He went cosmic
she went wayward

a soul free in the wind on this Naw-rúz,

on this new day, and once more, a journey began,

dancing with one of ancient beauty, such looks and feeling

a longing that had to pause that last day.





Burdened with something untouchable

Only finding another failure and yearning.

Its best to keep the faith inside for now.





I let you go now that I am found

its more than a broken vow

And in those fleeting moments he cried out

'Are you still there?' he said out loud
out of no where,

He who is our guide.. are you still there ~~~~~~

Witness now- the meeting, the destiny of love,
awakened and seen- felt and shared.
It can happen- the journey is the reward..

When one has lived through Many,

one appreciates that which is Pure in Connection.

That which is Far Beyond the Mundane. We search for meaning

in others. Search for Beauty, Intelligence, Dedication, Love.

We are in many ways searching for the Divine in Another.

The most beautiful of All.

~ distantrealm

~ The blog index

~ Related

"Path of the True Seeker"

(Excerpts of the screenplay "Just a distraction"
-about finding a balance between the physical
world and the spiritual amidst the distractions
and afflictions that surround and effect us.
These is no correlation between these scenes,
only random excerpts here.)

The true seeker must,
before all else,
cleanse the heart*

Here we go into the mind of a youth, me in
this case, when I was 22, (so bare with me plz)
who is finding his way through everything
learned growing in this world of distraction.
Learning keys to balance and awareness, trying
to focus our thoughts..

"Study Guide for the True Seeker"
(a formula in the works)

I needed to make a list of the key ingredients to the steps and paths learned when I was on my year of service and years before that just growing up. It takes years, for myself, at least the last decade, in this quest for self knowledge. I made this draft to simplify these insights taken from both the screenplay and going through old notes.


I went back to that time in 03, even before that.. when I had my first apartment in 2001, to where it all began..
(all I knew, what was keeping me balanced.. was my love for a clean environment and therein it all unfolded)






“Cleaning”
(it all starts with cleaning your
new space for your rebirth.
I have a huge story for this.
But this was for sure the
first step for me.)






“Thrifting”
(taking time to figure out your own
style really helps you have fun
learning more about you and how
you perceive yourself. And doing
it at thrift stores saves a lot in
case you cannot figure this part
out. Having style gives confidence
and greatly helps in the knowledge
of self process.)





“Talking to self”
(and on camera interviews to yourself
are very conducive to the inner growth)





“Understanding self”
(your past thoughts, ideas,
and ways you lived and related
to others. The ways you used
to think. And building new
ways to understand what you
are seeking)





“Writing”
(blogging, expressing, and
making your book of life)






“Learning”
(learning by listening, listening
by seeing, building awareness.
Becoming more open to breaking
your old routines and habits
while discovering new ones)





“Journaling“
(is realizing the private day to
day ponderings and understandings)





“Watching people
Watching Nature”
(gotta do this for all this
to flow and to see the process
of unfolding)





“Studying”
(daily studies are essential.
Reading the dictionary,
writing down definitions,
training the mind)





“Practicing”
(your inner talent, hobbies, skills,
striving for excellence really gives
you the motivation to continue this
quest for knowledge.





“True Healing”
(lots to let go of. How to build
strength during this time is
key. In the confidence comes the
awareness of how you got to this
point. And we all need to heal
from our past and where we’ve been.
Its okay to cry but its good to
be tough as well. The aim is to
be so sure of yourself that you
wont need tears to give you the
feeling that you are better
afterwards. You are better after
making progress in every step.
This is the idea you must focus on.




“Laughing”
(just do it. As much as you can.
That through an awakened spirit,
is what trains your new senses to
welcoming everything that is strange
in this world. Just laugh as you go)




“True Feeling”
(Live from the heart)





“True Seeing”
(becoming aware of all things)






“Detachment”
(this can be a somewhat optional
method. More to add to this later)





“Teaching”
(teach what you now know, it
polishes everything gained)





“Traveling”
(why else do we travel, all of
the above in action in different
places seeing how others live,
how and why. There is so much
discovered about who you
are though traveling)






”Cleansing”
(refining your new
characteristics)











so...











Work out inner thoughts in nature

Work out the inner thoughts through meditation














~~ Objective ~~

Harmonizing the
Mind body spirit connection











~~ Summery ~~


Incorporating the 5 waking steps starting the day
More on this later, but here they are:
(upon waking)
1 stretching
2 drinking water
3 breathing
4 praying or meditating 
5 reading or writing













~~ Conclusion ~~


~:~

Is for you alone

~:~

Part 1 ~ "Beginning of Spirituality"

As it is becoming more apparent with each passing
day, the entire system of Earth needs our focused
awareness now more than ever. If we are actually
concerned with the quality of our lives on this
planet and those complex systems by which our
collective existence is sustained, then we
must recognize our biological interdependence
requires of each and every one of us the
conscious development of compassionate
relationships with ourselves, everyone,
and everything... A complete acceptance
of what IS beyond predefined fears. ~ DPC