..and U will dream of life,
of all that is Beautiful.
Of the Night, of the Day,
Of Joy, of Peace, of Light,
Of Love, U will Dream the
Eternal Dream. ~ Distantrealm
of all that is Beautiful.
Of the Night, of the Day,
Of Joy, of Peace, of Light,
Of Love, U will Dream the
Eternal Dream. ~ Distantrealm
New home, Denver, CO
Busy finding work and now living with three wonderful roommates in Capital Hill, near downtown and the mind is finding its self again. Listening to the silence, and gearing up for an intense couple of months. Biking.. and Going Deep.
Most of my life i have been trying to explain myself, almost like justifying. Its been a problem with trying to keep up with the others when feeling like you're falling behind. Behind moving through school, behind moving through college. I was never apart of these key features in ones development. It has always made me feel stunted. But i have made up for it with self awareness and a long pursuit of self knowledge.
Feeling a sense of inadequacy has been what fuels the expression for life. And in this way i have stayed one step ahead. I was given a freedom that others have not had, I trained myself, got great people jobs, never borrowed money from family, never been in debt, used credit cards, or lived pay check to pay check, and have always had savings. I always craved acceptance though or just to be understood. Teachers never did growing up, they never listened. This causes a lot of anxiety and anger as a child for many. This is why you see kids acting out and being crazy/loud. It is not that someone is doing something to them, actually it is because they are frustrated with -themselves.- They want to see as everyone else does. But the amount of things being transmitted to the brain is so overwhelming, that again, it causes tantrums and intensity, (see video below) all of which we suffer from. It strikes us when we aren't given the chance, or, another chance.
I pay such close attention now to children more than anyone. Asking them what they are feeling, how they are feeling it, and what they are wanting out of their feelings. How do they want to process them. Because i believe that ADD/ADHD are people with intense feeling. And too many go with feelings that are not nurtured when they are young. Therefore it has always been my quest to help and nurture others. A natural outcome.
So I always saw this as the cause for my sense of urgency with things like explaining myself. Just like anyone else deserves the right, to have a right, a say, i find now however, with this surge of contentment after moving, that i don't need to say anything. I don't need to explain why, don't need to say what i am going to do next, I've done enough, put myself through my own school of life with love and people as my teachers. All in my hopes to realize a souls dream. And the dream of another, with me. I have been given such great bounties since first getting here, it fills me with a sense of accomplishment. A tremendous feeling of independence from all else and all things. (I literally have just master bedroom in a house with nothing in it but a blanket on the hardwood floor, where i sleep, a tea set, a tripod and suitcase. ha)
Feeling a sense of inadequacy has been what fuels the expression for life. And in this way i have stayed one step ahead. I was given a freedom that others have not had, I trained myself, got great people jobs, never borrowed money from family, never been in debt, used credit cards, or lived pay check to pay check, and have always had savings. I always craved acceptance though or just to be understood. Teachers never did growing up, they never listened. This causes a lot of anxiety and anger as a child for many. This is why you see kids acting out and being crazy/loud. It is not that someone is doing something to them, actually it is because they are frustrated with -themselves.- They want to see as everyone else does. But the amount of things being transmitted to the brain is so overwhelming, that again, it causes tantrums and intensity, (see video below) all of which we suffer from. It strikes us when we aren't given the chance, or, another chance.
I pay such close attention now to children more than anyone. Asking them what they are feeling, how they are feeling it, and what they are wanting out of their feelings. How do they want to process them. Because i believe that ADD/ADHD are people with intense feeling. And too many go with feelings that are not nurtured when they are young. Therefore it has always been my quest to help and nurture others. A natural outcome.
So I always saw this as the cause for my sense of urgency with things like explaining myself. Just like anyone else deserves the right, to have a right, a say, i find now however, with this surge of contentment after moving, that i don't need to say anything. I don't need to explain why, don't need to say what i am going to do next, I've done enough, put myself through my own school of life with love and people as my teachers. All in my hopes to realize a souls dream. And the dream of another, with me. I have been given such great bounties since first getting here, it fills me with a sense of accomplishment. A tremendous feeling of independence from all else and all things. (I literally have just master bedroom in a house with nothing in it but a blanket on the hardwood floor, where i sleep, a tea set, a tripod and suitcase. ha)
(turn volume way up and
pause music before playing)
Now playing ~
Track 1 - Aphex Twin
2 - Depeche Mode
3 - Aphex Twin
Track 1 - Aphex Twin
2 - Depeche Mode
3 - Aphex Twin
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