(originally posted 4-17-10)
~:~In the ocean he finds a drop, in a drop he beholds the secrets of the sea~:~
Everyday we continue to emerge.There are no costumes for this next scene. I am going back, keeping my roots, but also clearing the way for the fruits of my own understanding to come in, relying on no one.
~:~Things I have learned over the years~:~
Most I am told can not make the sacrifice to let go of the pain because all they ended up teaching themselves is how to feel safe around it. Free yourself of the walls that fool you into thinking you are doing great all alone, when its the creating with others that yields the most satisfying results.
What I am told is when you build your life you stop thinking about negatives. Since the building is always a progressive experience, even when making mistakes, you are still building. That is why I never freak out, always stay level headed, because i know that i am making progress regardless.
~:~Things that went unsaid~:~
We have seen each other at our lowest depths. For me, I always thought that this is where love is exposed the most.. maybe I am wrong. I have a lot of faith I guess.
The greatest job especially for a parent is to be a teacher to the child. To be an example of how to be in charge of your emotional states so that the child develops the confidence of how to manage themselves with people and the work world.
We do not get all of these important lessons from our parents. I was fortunate to have what I could grasp of this, as my Dad always said to listen to your body, listen to how you feel.
~:~What I have learned recently~:~
Isolation causes us to feel negative and depressed because we do not see any ‘good’ come from it. If we isolate ourselves from the active life outside, we cannot see the answers simplified by just giving our minds something else to do. I film a positive message that involves getting out, inspiring, giving, empowering. These are my answers.
Lots of wisdom builds up in periods of isolation. But if you do not break the cycle and do something with all the knowledge gained, you go nowhere with it. We will remember that time where we thought we needed to be alone, go through journals, see what we learned but have no way to apply it. I try everything as a way to apply; writing, collaborating with other people, and with people that may have been a challenge to work with. Why not? Don’t give up on the many gifts that our given to us. Trust in yourself will in turn provide trust in others.
~:~This week’s epiphany~:~
What many give for love can be great. A great lesson is to see past the imperfections we have for the potential we have. I believe that God gives us people, imperfect people to show us our own imperfections. To show us that we are all guides, and God is in all of us. And the secret is, that God is perfect. So there is in fact, perfection in all of us. Therefore there is no real need to stress our efforts to be perfect or look for things to be perfect, when we already contain the greatest perfection. And it is always there with us.
~:~What I am learning now~:~
As of now I have been able to enjoy getting to know new people, and soon will get to know new co-workers. Love that mental training..! and you take it home and have new thoughts mixed in with old. It refreshes the brain to have new nourishment. It amazes me that so many put up with the same thin gs everyday out of habit, fear, or just the choice they make to keep things simple. I’ve done that and it in fact makes it more difficult to be around others.
I am trying hard to get where people go in all their own self-imposed confusion. I have been trying hard to get it, but the question is, are you? I am not one to repeat cycles. Today I looked back, to where I was a year ago, last April, with my habits, what I did with my time, and how I have changed.
I highly recommend stopping everything you are doing and do this.
I realized that we can be hard on ourselves, but I also realized that we don’t really benefit from this unless we are ‘really’ hard on ourselves to a point where we actually change. I’m being hard on myself now by taking good care of my body and mind. Working out, getting out regularly, and taking an account for everything I do and say at the end of the day.
It cannot happen until you are ready. It comes when you know you have worked a lot or you have reached your lowest of lows. And you then find yourself just wanting to go with the flow, enjoy and experience things. Things you may have not had the type of life to see and feel when you were young. It’s a healthy way to purify your senses, and sensitivities as long as it does not cause neglect from responsibilities. And stay away from doubt, and substances, this only causes familiar patterns to arise, throwing you back into the muther fuckin rabbit hole. (I do that sometimes to see if anyone’s listening ha) Really though, retreating back to old habits only hinders the progress already made.
This is the now state. And the way has been paved as I live in the now and enjoy the present experiences with a detached mind and pure intention.
We want things to flow, but it will never be just right. No one will ever live up to expectations. Because the only expectations we can have are expectations for ourselves. Once things start to 'flow' internally then we may see some sense of rhythm. And you will find yourself dancing to this believe me, and when you feel it in your soul, in you, then people, the places you have to be, will all flow naturally. I am seeing that right now, starting to take effect.
But you have to go through this stage of purification, to see what you have cleansed yourself of, to see what it meant to go through your struggles, to make peace with yourself and to take an account for what you have done. And then you will see the internal flow begin. And true harmony occurs with everything around you.
Now Playing ~ Moby
“God moving Over the Face of the Waters”
“When It’s cold I’d Like To Die”
Related ~ Week 1 Purification
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